Round the Table
by Linen Tartaruga
Summary: “To Alphonse!” “And a long successful career!” “You’re finally a dog like the rest of us, kid!” “Arf! Arf!”


**Title: 'Round the Table  
Characters:** Um...everyone? o.O;;;  
**Summary:**"To Alphonse!" "And a long successful career!" "You're finally a dog like the rest of us, kid!" "Arf! Arf!"  
**Disclaimer: **If I owned FMA, then I wouldn't be poor and this wouldn't be a fanfic.  
**Rating: **T/PG  
**Warnings: **Shounen ai, Ed/Roy/Al, innuendo, some language, possible spoilers, rowdy Military men.

* * *

"To Alphonse!" 

"And a long successful career!"

"You're finally a dog like the rest of us, kid!"

"Arf! Arf!"

The entire table exploded into laughter and took long gulps of their respective drinks after lifting them ceremoniously toward the guest of honor, who was too busy blushing and laughing somewhat nervously to notice the waitress come up behind him.

"Now, boys," the busty woman chided as she all-but leered at every last one of her customers, "Some of the other customers're complainin' about the noise. Try'n keep it down some, okay?"

"Aw, c'_mon_, Berta!"

"Yeah, give us a break!"

"It's a special occasion!"

The woman just raised an eyebrow at the party, heedless of the young blonde right in front of her trying to disappear into his seat. His efforts were quickly cut off, though, as the slightly older, but nearly a foot _shorter_ blonde to his right practically jumped into his lap as he wrapped his arms around the taller boy, leaning in to nibble lightly on his ear before turning a wicked grin on the waitress, "My baby brother just passed the State Certification Exam!"

"Izzat so!" Berta turned from the blonde (whose face was doing a fine impression of her bright red apron) to the rest of the table who all held either wide grins or proud smirks. "Well, alright then! Drinks all around, and you," she smiled, ruffling the blushing blonde's hair, "Pick out whatever you like on the menu, on the house!"

There was roar of cheers, though, as the woman turned away, a quiet grumble was barely heard across the room. But what _was _heard was Berta's voice as the table of soldiers snickered, "I don't _care _how much noise they're makin'. This's _my _diner, and I say they c'n make however much noise's they want! That table's full o' national heroes and a new one in the makin', and if _you_ got a problem withat, then you c'n find somewhere _else_ to bring yer business."

Another cheer went up and, though the three men the waitress had been addressing looked less than pleased, they didn't leave.

"'A national hero in the making,' hm? I think I like the sound of that. What do you think, Alphonse?"

Alphonse blinked up, wondering what had sparked the question as he hadn't really been paying attention to much of the conversation in the first place. "H-huh?"

Roy smirked back at him, dark eyes dancing as he leaned an elbow on the table, his cheek in his hand, "Do you plan on following in your brother's footsteps, Alphonse? Will you become as renown and decorated as him?"

The young blonde flushed again, turning to his brother only to see a soft barely-there smile and a similar blush on his own cheeks.

"I..." Bronze eyes turned to the rest of the table, eight pairs of eyes looking expectantly back at him. "I don't know..." Alphonse admitted quietly, ducking his head, "I haven't really thought about it."

"That's okay, kid," Havoc piped up with surprising clarity around a cigarette as he glanced at either of the men to Alphonse's sides, his eyes _full_ of innuendo, "After all, I'm sure you've had..._other_ things on your mind."

The young blonde swore that his face had caught on fire as he tried to sink under the table while most of the rest of the party burst into laughter again. Really, it wasn't that he didn't appreciate them all getting together to celebrate because of him, or that he was really ashamed of his relationship, but...did Havoc have to go and point it out to the entire _world_?

Okay, so the restaurant was hardly the entire world, but there were still people in there that he was sure didn't want to know about his personal life; and he was perfectly happy with them _not _knowing. It was Alphonse's belief that one _shouldn't _go around announcing to anyone with ears that one was in a homosexual relationship with two other men, one of whom happened to be his older brother and the other fourteen years his senior.

"Oh-_ho_!" The entire table flinched as Major Armstrong's voice thundered throughout the building, gesturing with his glass towards the youth trying to will himself invisible and nearly knocking the table over, "That is unacceptable, young Alphonse! You must always plan ahead for your career! Never leave anything to chance and avoid _all _distractions!"

That seemed to at least get _Edward's _attention as he sat up straighter, trying to make himself seem taller than he actually was, the younger boy assumed. "Hey, now, c'mon Major! A little distraction never hurt anyone, right Al?"

The younger boy was _sure _that his brother enjoyed his reaction far too much when he leaned over and thrust his tongue into Alphonse's ear. "_Brother_!" he squeaked, jumping away from the other boy.

Only to land practically in _Roy's_ lap.

"I think I'll have to side with Edward on this one," the man purred, wrapping an arm around the boy's waist and grinning almost predatorily. "All work and no play, after all, Major."

Alphonse swore that if he managed to get out of this alive and with the least amount of embarrassment possible, he was going to devote the rest of his days to the betterment of the lives of the lower class and poverty stricken. Just _please _make them all stop!

Wriggling himself out of the man's lap, the boy managed to make his way back into his own chair. He offered Roy and Edward a sheepish smile and tried to ignore the laughter surrounding him. Why did they all have to be so..._rowdy_? Even Riza, who was normally so unforgiving of such things was laughing quietly to herself as she nursed her drink. Did he have _any _comrades left in the world?

Well, maybe there was at least one.

"Uh, so, Alphonse, what did you do for the practical portion of the exam?"

The blonde in question smiled gratefully at Fury for shifting the subject _away _from his love life. Just as he was about to recount the tale, though, his brother once again had to jump in and open his big mouth: "Oh, it was _great_, you should've seen him!" the older boy crowed, clapping Alphonse soundly on the back and grinning widely with pride. "One of the other applicants nearly tore his arm off trying to get at one of the trees and they were about to take him to the hospital. But then in comes Al and tells the guy to just lie down and he claps his hands together and fixes up the guy's arm, good as new! I'm not really surprised, though; he's got previous experience reattaching limbs, don't you, Al?"

The younger boy flushed again, grabbing Edward's wrist before he could slap his back again and frowned at him. "Brother, how do you know that? I haven't told anyone, and Roy hasn't had time to tell anyone either."

"Wasn't he there?" Breda chimed in, scratching his head and turning to his coworkers for support. "I thought _all _the top-ranking State Alchemists were required to be there for at least the practical."

"Yes, as well as the Fuhrer, the General directly under the Fuhrer, and the State Alchemists sponsoring the applicants."

"A conflict of interest."

Attention quickly shifted to Riza who didn't bother looking up from her glass.

"Alphonse is Edward's younger brother, and everyone knows that. Since he _is_ one of the top-ranking State Alchemists, and since he didn't sponsor anyone, he would have been required to judge and mediate. However, with his brother as one of the applicants, a fair and partial decision couldn't be ensured; and only those involved with the test are permitted to attend any portion of the Exam."

"Wait a second," Havoc interrupted, turning his gaze between Riza and the two brothers, "Ed didn't sponsor anyone? I thought he was sponsoring Al."

"Conflict of interest," Ed grumbled, casting almost vicious looks at Roy, who merely lifted a shoulder in a helpless shrug.

"Oh, I see. So then did Roy?"

"I'm afraid not, Fury," the man lamented, "The Fuhrer isn't permitted to sponsor anyone, even if he's a State Alchemist. Even though those mediating come to a decision themselves, technically speaking I could overrule that decision; so it would be unwise to show any sort of preference."

"So then who sponsored Al?"

The four lower-ranking officers that had been seemingly left in the dark throughout the entire process turned to the newly-instated State Alchemist...

Who merely shifted uncomfortably under their scrutiny and flicked his eyes to his left, bringing the others' attention to the massive, sparkling Major Armstrong, flexing and posing for his suddenly pale audience.

Well, of _course _it would have been him; who else was left?

Finally, after what had seemed like an hour long stretch of awkward silence, someone spoke up.

"So the boss wasn't allowed into watch the practical? And no one told him what happened. So how does he know?"

Edward sent a death glare the older blonde's way, only satisfied when he nearly dropped his cigarette. Though he flushed entirely when Roy spoke up.

"He snuck in, of course."

Damnit, he did it again!

"And just how do you figure _that_?"

Roy turned a lazy grin on the young man, a clear sign that he obviously knew Ed's every last move and was going to enjoy proving himself right. "You snuck past the main guards at the gate when the applicants were just beginning to arrive so you would get looked over in the confusion. Then you carefully made your way to the back of the fair grounds where you wrestled one of the guards out of his clothes and locked him up in a transmuted cage until the end of the Exam."

Edward's mouth worked silently for a few moments, trying to think up with some response to that, but only able to come up with, "But...how do you know that?"

"I saw you," the man answered matter-of-factly before adding, "And I spoke to the guard you accosted."

"But...that could've been _anyone _that the guard was talking about!"

"Oh, no, it couldn't have."

Everyone's expressions as they watched the Fuhrer asked, "Why not?" And he was more than happy to oblige.

"Because I asked him hw tall he was."

"_Who's so short they have to wear infants' clothing_!"

Alphonse groaned quietly to himself, wishing, not for the first time, that his brother's temper wasn't so short; or at least that Roy didn't enjoy baiting Edward as much as he did. It was all so tiresome sometimes, and he felt he'd listened to the argument his whole life, even the voices in the background either egging Edward on or trying to calm him down as he tried to throttle Roy.

He wasn't sure he could deal with this -- wasn't sure he _wanted _to deal with it. All he'd wanted to do was go out with his friends and lovers and have a nice time. But then everyone had to go and start teasing each other...and trying to assassinate their leader.

It was just becoming a little too much for the blonde, and he quietly excused himself, pushing away from the table and heading for the bathroom to see if he might be able to get some peace in _there_.

The water from the sink was nice and warm as the boy splashed it against his face, scrubbing at his eyes and perhaps almost wishing that he was asleep. He just couldn't understand how people who were so kind and claimed to like each other could speak to each other like that. Alphonse knew they cared, really, it was just that...the way they showed it...some people weren't like them! Some people didn't like getting teased and having their personal lives made fun of and put on display in front of complete strangers who _already _had a bad opinion of them. Some people didn't appreciate getting _spied _on, as if they couldn't be trusted to do their job. And some people didn't enjoy getting stepped on by someone they loved only so that they could try and kill someone _else _that they loved.

Why couldn't they understand? Why could they _never understand_?

It had been the same thing every day since he was eleven: Baiting and teasing and flirting and mocking. And still, after all those years, they were still there doing the same thing!

But, Alphonse realized, they were still _there_.

Alphonse had known these people for seven years (well, Armstrong he'd only known for three) and, during those seven years he knew that he and Ed had caused their share of problems (breaking into secret Military functions only one of them), stepped on their share of toes. It was probably safe to say that they'd frustrated each of those soldiers at _least_ once in the time that they'd known them...

And yet they were still _there_. After everything the brothers had done and all of the problems and frustration that they'd caused, Havoc and Falman and Breda and Fury, Riza and Armstrong and _Roy_ were still _there_.

And maybe _that _was the point; not that they all didn't share the same sense of humor or lack of subtlety, but that they all _cared_.

Alphonse stared at his reflection in the mirror, looking into his own eyes and remembering the first day he'd walked into Central Head Quarters as Alphonse Elric, instead of a huge suit of armor. He'd expected a thousand questions and shocked stares; all he'd gotten, however, was exactly what he'd gotten any _other_ time he'd walked into HQ. They'd all treated him just the same as before, not giving any sign that anything had changed, only sending a few discreet smiles his way when they thought no one was looking.

Oh, but he'd been so grateful to them. He hadn't wanted anyone to make a big deal out of it because, even though it _was_, he didn't really like being the center of attention and, especially with something like that, it would have made him far too uncomfortable.

But now he'd passed the State Certification Exam, and now they were all celebrating and drinking and putting him on the spot, like they hadn't that day.

Because it was a completely different situation. Maybe...it was okay to be the center of attention once in a while -- after all, Ed had done it for _years_. And, maybe, it was okay to laugh at some of the jokes. Because these people were enjoying themselves, and none of them took the joking seriously, and they deserved to have a fun night out.

And because they cared -- about him and about each other. Because these people...were the closest thing he'd had to a family since he and Edward had left Rizenbul.

The blonde smiled as he realized just how true that was and he barely noticed when the door to the bathroom opened and his brother poked his head through, "Alphonse?"

Hesitantly stepping through the door, Edward reached out as if he wanted to place a hand on his brother's shoulder, but he changed his mind at the last second merely letting it fall to his side. "Are you alright?"

The younger boy blinked up, almost startled to be asked the question until he remembered how he'd left. He turned his smile on his brother and nodded that he fine.

Edward seemed more than relieved, finally venturing closer to him and looking the younger boy over, as if checking for injuries. "You're sure? I didn't hit you or anything back there, right?"

"No, Brother," Alphonse chided with a soft laugh, "I'm _fine_. Really."

"Well good, then what're you doing in _here_?" the older boy asked, tugging his brother towards the door, "Berta just brought another round of drinks and we're all waiting to toast you again!"

"Wait, Brother!" Alphonse resisted the hold on his wrist just barely, lifting his other hand to wrap around the older boy's neck as he leaned in to capture a kiss, trying almost desperately to reassure that part of his brother that was probably still feeling guilty. And maybe he just enjoyed kissing Edward as well.

What Alphonse hadn't noticed, though, was that Ed had had the door to the bathroom half open already...and hadn't let it go. Well, he hadn't noticed until he heard the cat calls start from the table he'd left not minutes ago. When the younger boy finally pulled away from his brother, he was blushing brilliantly and had half-a-mind to hide away in one of the bathroom stalls until they'd all left. With his recent realization, though, he decided on a different route.

He flashed Edward a decidedly wicked grin and pulled away completely, beginning to walk back towards the table. "Oh, come on guys," he called, glancing back over his shoulder at Ed, "He's not _that_ good."

A cry of indignation went up behind Alphonse. He'd never had that much fun running for his life as long as he could remember.

_-End_


End file.
